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"Things I Never Told My Mother" Goes Global On Facebook In 1998, entrepreneur, writer and businessman Ted DeCorte began collecting stories, stories from people about things they didn't want their mothers to know.
"I Want You To Participate in 'THINGS I NEVER TOLD MY MOTHER', Ted wrote.
"To be a writer or not to be, that is the question," Ted continued,"We all have 'deep dark secrets' that we have never told a soul, particularly our parents. These 'secrets' may have been something as innocent as breaking your mother’s best crystal vase and then blaming it on the cat, or sneaking out of your humble abode at night for an illicit rendevous with fair Romeo or Juliet. Or maybe what you never told your mother was something much more personal, or down right nefarious."My friends and I began exploring the events in our pasts that we had NOT told our mothers after consuming several glasses of a very fine cabernet. We started with pretty silly things from our childhood, but soon we treaded into areas that none of us wanted to divulge too freely. I asked my friends, 'Would you be interested in knowing what others find too personal, (yes, too weird) to tell ol' mom or dad?' And being of nosy, busy bodiness they said yes! Thus a writing project was born!
"I am looking for short vinettes on what you may have never told your mother, your father, or whoever your primary caretaker was while growing up. (Please don’t give me anything that I would later have to testify to a grand jury about or may ruin your budding political career!) Certainly, I would prefer to give you credit, and I hope you will let me, but I will also respect your anonymity, if you so choose.
"If you wish to submit a story for consideration in my new book, then I thank you, and happy memories.
Ted has launched the "Things I Never Told My Mother" Group on FACEBOOK.
What has the Press said about "Things I Never Told My Mother"?
Old and new ways to admit your wrongs
By Mark Kendall
The Press-EnterpriseFrom Catholic confessionals to the sets of TV talk shows, people find ways to admit wrongs and move on.
You'd be surprised how often people confess to serious crimes, says Riverside police Sgt. Mark Boyer, who supervises homicide investigations.
In fact, a person who kills may be more likely to confess than someone who only wounds the victim. It's the strain of having killed. "The emotional pressure is overwhelming," Boyer says. "They can't stand it. They have to tell somebody about it."
People typically confess when they're brought in for questioning and confronted with the evidence. But in rare cases criminals will come in on their own and spill their guts because they're wracked by guilt. Others own up to avoid hurting others. For example, a child molester might confess to avoid putting family members and the child through the trauma of testifying.
You never know. "The ones that surprise you are the ones that you think are real hardened career criminals and they get emotional in an interview and break down and cry," Boyer says.
The statute of limitations may have run out on that little shoplifting "prank" you pulled off as a teen-ager. But a tinge of regret lingers on.
So fire off your confession -- and perhaps your residual guilt -- in an e-mail message.
Ted DeCorte of Las Vegas is collecting these confessions for a book: "Things I Never Told My Mother." The idea came when he was talking with his sister and some friends about the blowout party they threw when his parents were gone. His mom heard the conversation and was stunned -- all these years she never knew about the party. DeCorte started collecting similar anecdotes, and last month started asking for them on his Web site.
The idea was to be light-hearted, and most of the stories he gets are childhood or teen-age shenanigans. In one, though, a woman confessed that she didn't tell her father she loved him before he died. In another, the daughter of an abusive alcoholic mother told about a time her mother slapped her across the face and sent her to her room for the weekend. The girl got even, damaging her mom's car by putting something in the gas tank. The mom later cleaned up her act, but the daughter never told her of the gas-tank incident.
Right now, DeCorte is simply taking submissions, but later he may publish some on the site so everyone can read them.
"We seem to be obsessed with the dirty laundry of . . . ourselves and of people in high places," said DeCorte, a vice president for a dental HMO. "This project fits right in with the times."
Roman Catholics who have committed serious sins must go to confession -- properly called the rite of reconciliation -- in order to return to a state of grace, says Monsignor Donald Webber, a spokesman for the diocese that encompasses Riverside and San Bernardino counties. "It's a time in our lives in which we make a decision to turn away from sin, to lead good lives," Webber says.
A person tells the priest his or her sins, expresses contrition, is assigned penance and receives forgiveness. Penance is the action part of the process; it may mean saying prayers or a reparation such as giving back the thing you stole.
Confessions are confidential. But in the early days of the church, it was common for people to confess publicly, revealing their sins for all to hear. "Over time it became more personal and private," Webber says.
A different form of public confession carries on in TV land.
In the latest talk show twist, "Forgive or Forget" lets people confess their wrongs. Victims choose either to forgive or to hold the grudge.
The host, Mother Love, confesses she's not entirely sure why people decide to do this on national TV. Maybe people think "if I come on TV and say it in front of all the people then you would know I'm sincere," says Mother Love, once a Los Angeles radio personality.
Many forgiveness seekers are people who have cheated on a mate, or former drug addicts who abandoned their children. Then there was the guy who in high school urinated in a soda can and gave it to a girl to drink. She took a sip as everyone else watched and laughed. But she forgave him when he apologized on the show three years after the incident.
The show airs at 3 p.m. weekdays on KCOP Channel 13.
People forgive about half the time -- that's the suspense of the show. Mother Love believes people need a way to be held accountable for their actions and to get rid of guilt. "We all know there's things we've done that are wrong and we want to feel sorry for them," she says.
So has Mother Love ever needed to confess a big wrong? "Nah," she says, adding that perhaps she did when she was younger, but today she's learned to say she's sorry right away. "I would never, ever, ever do anything deliberately to hurt another human being," she says.
Published 8/9/1998 Press Enterprise, Riverside, CA
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